I wonder sometimes if I did a bad thing, going off and and
getting close to so many people and places. Was it healthy? I feel older. All along, I
had only looked forward for the better stuff that I knew was to come, and
suddenly I’m looking over my shoulder trying to touch the recent past. I have
these intense memories that hurt my chest in a good way, and make my throat
hurt and tears well up in my eyes. I would relive all of it, the happiness and
the pain, if it meant I could just be at those coordinates of time and space
again, with those people. I feel so sad, but so lucky that I've lived a life worth
crying over.
