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I wonder sometimes if I did a bad thing, going off and and getting close to so many people and places. Was it healthy? I feel older. All along, I had only looked forward for the better stuff that I knew was to come, and suddenly I’m looking over my shoulder trying to touch the recent past. I have these intense memories that hurt my chest in a good way, and make my throat hurt and tears well up in my eyes. I would relive all of it, the happiness and the pain, if it meant I could just be at those coordinates of time and space again, with those people. I feel so sad, but so lucky that I've lived a life worth crying over.