Sarcasm & Shopping in Spain

This stolen-from-Google picture is pissing me off.
I can't place it near the shopping section at the bottom,
so it is just going to float up here like a loser.

Everyone I've come across in my first two weeks in Spain has been very welcoming and kind. In turn, I have been very nice, polite, and somewhat shy. Well, I hate being nice, polite, and shy; it's my least favorite version of me.

I haven't deadpanned, been sarcastic, or made a flippant remark in two whole weeks. It doesn't take me very long to open up to people and crack jokes, but my faltering and self-conscious Spanish has made it nearly impossible. (I like to think) I'm generally a hilarious, or at least fairly entertaining, person. Not so much when I'm speaking Spanish. Any attempt at humor so far has been met with concern or confusion. Or people laugh when I'm really not trying to be funny (though not in a mean way).

For example, yesterday, I went for Japanese food with the Africa team after work, and the conversation turned to the various ways steak can be made. They were hunting for the terms in English, so I said in fairly correct Spanish--"Rare, medium-rare, and well-done. Pues, nunca he pedido, porque no como, pero lo he escuchado. [Well, I have never ordered it, because I don't eat meat, but I have heard those terms]." HAHAHA, was the response. Oh well.

Bottom line, the day I make a sarcastic remark in Spanish (and people react with laughter, genuinely and not out of pity) will be the day I conquer the language.

After work today, instead of speeding straight home, I went to El Corte Inglés, which is the Spanish equivalent of Macy's. I am now in the second year of my quest for The Boots (they have to be perfect; I don't know what they look like; I'll know when I see them). El Corte Inglés is probably where I will find The Boots, so that's good to know. However, in the hour and a half that I spent milling around the Zapatería floor (yes, an entire floor dedicated to shoes), only one employee approached me and asked if I needed anything. I should have held onto her and never let go.

There were a group of at least ten salespeople hanging out chatting and trying their best to avoid customers. I hate talking to desconocidos (strangers) unless absolutely necessary, so I avoided it as long as possible. When I finally did ask someone for help, she mumbled something about her coworkers and went to join them...It made me miss the customary American "Can I help you find something?"--I never say yes, but it is nice to be asked nevertheless. So, it was an unproductive trip, but now I know my shoe size here is 38.